Secret Confessions

This is a post that has nothing to do with the 365 days of photos blog. I'm not sure what inspired this desire to do a "just cause" post. Maybe I am further putting off doing my lesson plans for next week. Maybe watching YouTube videos inspired me to become a little narcissistic and talk about myself some more. Maybe I got tired of having my dog not listen to me while I was having a conversation with her. Whatever the reason, here are twenty-three confessions about me.

23. I hate the fact that I do not have the ability to memorize a rap song.

It's not like I haven't tried. I listened to "Gold Digger" over and over again, looked up the lyrics, wrote them out, "rapped" along to the song while reading the lyrics. Nothing works.

22. I always accepted the fact that the government was always watching.

As a kid, I just assumed there were cameras everywhere. It never freaked me out, I just accepted this "big brother" lifestyle. I wonder if that is the Truman Show delusion.

21. I am liking SciFi way more than I ever thought I would.

I wouldn't say I am a fan yet because I know true fans would be annoyed by that, but I am more open to SciFi stories than I used to be.

20. I used to pray to God that He would grant me the ability to talk to animals.

I would pray fervently. I truly thought that our pets were my best friend and the communication issues frustrated me.

19. I never had an imaginary friend. This upset me as a child so I would have an imaginary imaginary friend.

I thought having an imaginary friend was part of being a kid so to fit in, I would pretend to have an imaginary friend.

18. I hate mouth noises.

It seriously irritates me to the point of me being irrationally angry. This is another disorder called http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia. This hasn't been diagnosed so maybe I am just a hypochondriac.

17. I wish I was better at crafts than I am.

I say I'm a crafter but I'm not very good and I never finish projects I start.

16. I am terrified as a first year teacher.

My goals this year is 1. quit saying I know stuff when I don't/ ask for help 2. don't get fired.

15. I used to hide crickets in my room.

I would hide them in containers in my play kitchen. My room ended up smelling terrible. Ah, the odd hobbies of a tom-boy.

14. My nerdy third grade self got excited about a bird unit we were doing in science and wanted to start a bird watching club. It had one member.

Stories like this make me wonder why I had any friends. Honestly, I think I went to a college no one from my graduating class went to because everyone has seen me go through all my awkward-embarrassing stages and I needed a fresh start.

13. I have a baby complex.

I think this comes from people yelling at me as a kid/ young teenager to "hold the head! HOLD THE HEAD!" I have this terrible fear I'm going to break a baby.

12. I have this obsession with watching people make stuff on YouTube.

I love watching people make pottery, do home-improvement, paint, and do makeup. I have no use except it is relaxing to watch change happen so quickly.

11. I wish I could memorize quotes better.

I always disappoint people when they quote something from a movie and I can't quote something back.

10. I want to rent an RV and travel all across America

This is something that won't happen until I retire, yet at the ripe age of 23 I am already planning my retirement.

9. When I was in kindergarten, my best friend told me she had a crush on a boy I liked so I pretended to like someone else.

This actually happened a lot as a kid. I was a people pleaser so I would pretend I didn't want a toy or I would play the dad when we played house or I would get the plate of food that wasn't presented as pretty as other plates.

8. I love reading books where the protagonist is middle-aged or older and they live in a small town with mundane problems.

Last summer I read this whole series of a bunch of old ladies that quilt. Right now I am reading about a fifty-year-old Presbyterian pastor.

7. I have been praying for my future children ever since I was 8.

My ultimate goal in life is to be a stay-at-home mom. Every decision I make was based on what decisions I would want my future children to make. I guess you can say I had to teach myself on how to live in the moment.

6. I am still terrified of the dark.

I guess my imagination gets carried away. I have changed some of my habits since getting married; such as, I no longer have to turn on the lights when getting up in the middle of the night. I do make Aaron turn on the hall light if he needs to get something from the living room and I come up with excuses to not go outside at night.

5. Sometimes I think my ability to read people gets in the way.

My dad is a salesman and my mom is a theatre director so they taught me how to read people and I feel this gets in the way of my conversation. I am constantly correcting myself when I am talking to someone and thinking about what they are thinking gets in the way of correctly conveying what I need to because I am more focused on them than the words coming out.

4. I wish everyone blogged.

What a cool way to learn about someone, you know, without actually talking to them. ;)

3. People from my high school always pop up in my dreams.

I have such vivid dreams and the main characters are people from my high school. I don't know if this is because I am living in the past or they were such an important part of me growing up. Just know, anyone from my high school that may be reading this, you are still an important part of my life even if I haven't talked to you in five years.

2. I hear about culture of the 40's and 50's and get disappointed that I wasn't born back then.

I long for someone to open a jazz club where there is a Glenn Miller band and dancing. I wish there were opportunities to wear ball gowns. Any entrepreneurs living in Gaines county want to start that up for me? :)

1. I love getting scared.

I love watching shows about ghosts, listening to scary stories, or even reading about it. I get scared easily and I have a vivid imagination (see number 6). I guess it is a safe thrill for me.