What Did You Call Me?

A boy gave a girl thirteen roses, twelve were real, one was fake, then the boy said to the girl, “I will love you until the last rose dies.” This is a love quote that I have constantly run into over the internet. I read it again last night and it inspired me to look up more stupid love quotes. Before I begin, let me explain why this is a stupid love quote. The boy says he will love the girl until the last rose dies and it is supposed to be sweet because the thirteenth rose is fake and therefore cannot die. But if a rose is not a real rose, then isn’t he saying that he is going to love the girl for about as long as the roses last? Which is about a week. I have gone to lovequotes.com where people can submit their own love quotes. I have compiled a list of what I consider to be the “winners” of the group and divided it into four categories: what did you call me?, in need of a hormone chill pill, whaaaaat?, and needs further analysis. I am keeping the punctuation and spelling the same as I found it in the website. What did you call me? *if nothing lasts for ever, will you be my nothing? *you may not be the best, but u are my choice and i love you so *you’re the craziest girl i’ve ever met. i guess that makes me even crazier for loving you the way i do. In need of a hormone chill pill *Every night I go home crying because I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see you again *I give you my heart, pls don’t hurt it, cos if u do, i will die. Whaaaaaat? *its hard to explain what love is but i fell in love because its hard to explain * “i” feel safe in your arms i can’t live without “u” *sex lead to marriage, if really you know what is sex, you feel what is sex *i wish I could say to you how much you mean to me. But since my mouth is chilling when you talk. i will carve this words in my heart and kept it until you wish to see and read it. In need of further analysis *What is love? Is it the blood that rushes to your cheeks when youre around him? is it the feeling that keeps you up at night because you can’t stop thinking of him? no one knows. Is that it? Are those my only two options? It started out kind of sweet. I was really thinking the author was going somewhere. Then she gave up. That is sad, to give up on love at such a young age. *The world could end and I wouldn’t care because I’m here with you. Where are you going to be with your significant other of the week? Another planet? If so, please share with the rest of us so we have somewhere to flee as the world ends. But apparently you don’t care about the rest of the world’s safety. How did you get a lady with a selfish attitude like that? *If loving you is wrong i have to hide from the cops because i am on death row if they ever tell me to stop. Now wait a minute kid. No one said that the punishment for loving someone is death. What kind of life do you live that the consequences are always death? Now, if you are loving something that could kill you, like drugs, than I guess you could say you are on death row. That is a weird way of saying it. I could see why you would hide from the cops so they don’t bust you with the meth, but they wouldn’t put you on death row. Why don’t you hire a lawyer before you get in your next relationship just so you don’t go in all confused. It’s a good thing we have a God who shows us what love is because there are too many people out there who are confused as to what it is.